By Missy McCrickard

Missy McCrickard: Enter The Portal

“Life-changing” is a term that gets thrown around a lot in the wellness and personal development space. But what I am about to share with you is nothing short of that… 

My life has completely shifted since I started practicing breathwork and Integrative Energy Healing with Wellness Official Founder Millana Snow. Not only in my own personal experience of the work, but also as a trained facilitator.

I’ve found that my experiences with Millana often act as energetic portals, fast-tracking manifestations I’ve been cultivating, providing immense and profound moments of clarity, and igniting my deepest spiritual gifts. 

Let me start from the beginning… 

2018

In October of 2018, I attended a wellness conference called Wanderlust Wellspring, which featured folks like Russel Brand, Marrianne Williamson, Glennon Doyle and, someone I’d been keeping my eye on, Millana Snow. 

There were at least 100 people at Millana’s Integrative Energy Healing and breathwork session. This was the first time I’d done this work and I had no idea what to expect. As I set my intention for the session, I said, “I’m open to whatever wants to come up. I’m here to go deep. I’m ready.” 

And, wow, did I get what I asked for!

Prior to this session, I’d never had an emotional release in any practice like yoga or meditation. But I cried hysterically the ENTIRE session. Millana likes to say, “If it is hysterical, it is historical,” meaning that generational patterns, old stories and traumas may all be released, which was true of my experience that day. That entire room went wild, the energy moving so strongly for all of us. 

At the end of the session, I honestly didn’t know if I was going to be able to get up and walk. I had an out of body experience. I needed to take time to come back. I felt like I was high. I connected with the strangers around me, who’d all experienced a similar awakening.

I knew that this was work that I needed to integrate into my life, so I immediately joined The Monthly Integration (TMI) Community, Millana’s monthly group energy healing circle. 

2019

Throughout 2019, I practiced energy healing and breathwork by re-watching the Monthly Integration healing session recordings every single weekend, at least twice. 

In March, I had my first 1:1 session, in person, with Millana. I felt the same sensation of profound energetic shifting, but, this time, I also received a message: 

I knew deep in my soul that I needed to leave my husband. 

I wasn’t yet ready to act on that ping, but I continued learning about energy work because I saw what an impact it was making in my life. 

I transitioned jobs in August that year and had another 1:1 with Millana; it was also a new moon and a lot was shifting. She said, “I’m creating a couple of new offerings, be on the lookout in the next few months.” “Okay!” I said. 

Soon after, Millana announced a retreat and Integrative Energy Healing training in Costa Rica. I had been manifesting a trip to Costa Rica to do ayahuasca, but the dates didn’t align. I said, “Okay, Universe. If Millana hosts a training in LA, I’m doing it, no matter what.” 

The universe always hears our prayers and supports us in moving in the right direction.

Just two weeks later, Millana announced her Integrative Energy Healing training for January 2020. THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!!

I told my then-husband, “I’m doing this. I don’t care how much of a stretch this is for us financially, I need to be there.” 

My calling to this work was simply too strong to ignore and I made the decision to bet on myself and my emerging gifts. 

2020

In January 2020, I completed my Integrative Energy Healing training with 16 beautiful women, my energy babes, my energy sisters. I love all of them so deeply. The inner work that we did together was truly amazing and the bond we created over those four days will last a lifetime. 

After the training, I couldn’t help but share my newly awakened spiritual gifts with everyone around me. Clients, friends, family — all were getting a little dose of my magic.

 At my then 9-5 job in higher education, I started Wellness Wednesdays and taught energy healing and breathwork to a group of faculty, staff and students during our lunch hour. It was a beautiful way to introduce this work to folks that don’t always have access to it. 

Through Millana and Wellness Official, I also found paid opportunities to share my gifts, beyond my 1:1 work with clients. I taught meditation at Macy’s and led a vision boarding workshop, and then facilitated energy healing at Popsugar’s Grounded wellness festival.

I saw the limitless possibilities available to me and began to realize that I could do this work full-time one day.

As I stepped deeper into my personal power as a facilitator, though, it became clear that my marriage was struggling. 

I cried every day. And, although I found strength in my energy babes and a new EMDR therapist, I was in pain. 

I prayed, “God help me! I need him to leave for just a week or so, so that I can figure out what it is that I want and I feel so strongly that I need to be free of his energy to make that decision. Show me support”

That day, three friends, some of whom I hadn’t talked to in years, reached out to me to ask how I was doing. THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!! 

About a week later, Millana reached out to me and asked me if I’d like to support her in facilitating the next Integrative Energy Healing training. Again, THANK YOU UNIVERSE!! I told my then-husband that I was going to this training with the intention to gain clarity on whether we should break up or stay together.

I stayed in LA for 10 days. The training days were beautiful. I would come home after the 10-hour day and do my own breathwork, watching the recordings from TMI. Doing my own work is just as important as facilitating.

On the third morning, I was doing dishes and cleaning up my little Airbnb. The Lizzo song, “Good As Hell” came on and, funnily enough, I couldn’t stop crying. I heard,  “If he don’t love you anymore, just walk your fine ass out the door,” and burst into tears. “Time to take a deep breath and focus on you,” sent me deeper into my tears. Again, I could only say, “THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!” It was so clear that I needed to divorce my husband. There was no question. It was a fact. An action that I needed to take. 

I got to the training that morning, and we started with a share. The moon was in a water sign, so emotions were already running high, in the most profound and vulnerable way. When it was my turn to share, I felt so held in expressing my truth: that the signs were so real, and that I knew, deep in my body, that I needed to file for divorce. I was ready to be happy, and the training group held that beautiful vision for me.

Two days after our training ended, I called a lawyer and filed for divorce. 

2021

Fast forward to 2021: my divorce was nearly finalized and my work as a facilitator had become a staple in my life.

I also began working with Millana as Community Lead for Wellness Official as I slowly started transitioning out of my work in higher ed. We went on a Wellness Official team retreat to Joshua Tree in March and I shared with the team all the reasons why I should stay in my condo, the place that my ex-husband and I lived together. 

As the words left my mouth, I realized that it was really fear that was keeping me in that place. I heard Spirit say, “This is just fear. You’re just afraid of moving. Trust and everything will be more than okay.” It was, again, as if I had no choice but to move after I realized that the fear wasn’t real. The next week, I called a real estate agent, a friend of a friend whose specialty is helping divorced women (so divine!). 

The week that my condo went on the market was the same week that we started another round of Millana’s Integrative Energy Healing Training, which I was assisting with. Again, I stayed in LA for the training because my real estate agent was showing the condo. I went into that weekend not knowing where I wanted to live, but so sure that positive change was coming for me. 

I reached out to a couple of my energy babes to see if I could hang out and feel the vibe of their neighborhoods, and I ended up in Santa Monica that day. 

We walked from my friend’s place to the beach and I kept saying, “Your life is the dream! Walking to the beach. Walkable lifestyle. I want this.” Then I heard Spirit again: “Missy, this can be your life. This is attainable. You can have this too.” I knew this was the neighborhood for me. 

Meanwhile, my real estate agent called me and let me know that I had three offers over asking price! Within six days of putting my little 1,100 square foot condo on the market, it sold. I knew it would because, as I was leaving to go to LA, I said a prayer, sent energy to the condo and said, while touching the wall, “I hope you find someone who will love you the way I once did.” I felt the energy of my condo as I said that. She listened. 

The next weekend, I looked at apartments in Santa Monica. The last apartment was just what I needed. I walked in and felt chills all over my body, confirming for me that this was it. 

The man who showed me around said, “I’m not even supposed to be showing this place yet, but when you messaged me I just had a feeling that I needed to show you this place.” THANK YOU UNIVERSE!! 

As of May 8, Santa Monica has been my home. I’ve gone to the beach every day. I no longer work a 9-5 job. This was a dream that manifested into my reality. And, although it was scary at times, it was also filled with so much ease.

These training sessions have served as a portal for me for divine change. 

They’ve given me the courage to do things I couldn’t have imagined just one year ago. 

If you would’ve told me at the beginning of 2020, “Next year, you’re going to be divorced and living your best life in Santa Monica,” I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. 

But this is my life!!! I get to work with the wellness community, helping people make real change in their lives. I’m so grateful for all the connections, expansions and opportunities that have come because I allowed Spirit to work through me and embraced the signs to make the big changes. 

I can’t help but wonder what portal awaits during our next Integrative Energy Healing Training in June. I cannot wait. 

Will you be joining us? Your portal is waiting… 

Missy is an Integrative Energy Healer and the Community Manager at Wellness Official. You can find her on Instagram at @missymccrickard

If you want to find your own portal, join our next Integrative Energy Healing Training, happening from June 25-28.